If this was a joke, I'd be laughing by now

I dont even know where to start. Alls I know is some things have to charge. I have been feeling an itch for a few months, my birthday came/went, So I thought it was that but its something more, something bigger. Let me explain, I am self diagnosed manic/lower than normal energy levels, and sometime I get these urges to accrue things, and shop and shop and shop...and a week later i return half of it. And other times I feel this bigger pressure to do something, something not 'status quo'. And that is the itch I feel. For the month I have been able to suppress this and think of the big picture, well in 6 months scenario, I didnt take a vacation for my birthday to pay of all the things I have accrued but it didnt seem to help, only not make the hole bigger. So im sitting here redoing my bills, budget, and trying to sort out what bills will be paid first. and realizing that money comes and goes but the thing that needs to change is me and how I handle them. Tons other things need to change to change too, but that takes confrontation, and confrontation takes courage, when your not a screaming maniac doing. So heres to a new year of new adventures, more socialization, and more family time!!