She sits and stares into the distance, and it takes all night.

So here we go. Again.

You know when Im starting off with that, its about a relationship....

I just don't fully understand, anything as it turns out. I got marriage shattering news this morning at 11:15am and then continued to work. Bad idea. I am prob getting wrote up but that lady wouldn't let me leave, without hearing my reason for asking. F it.

So this relationship that mystified everyone, survived hundreds of miles in between, and defended cheating emails, is now over. Ah hell. I wish I had the whole story, but all I have is, 'he decided that we shouldn't be married anymore." I like to believe that there are two sides to every story but that is prob quite improbable, and the only story I going to tell him is the one that ends with my new stiletto up his ass.

I don't know her plan, but by hell she better get one. I'll give a week before tracking her down it that dusty lil town. I don't know where she'll be or who she'll be with and Im not sure which one scares me more. It hurts my hart to know she's out there all alone with no one. I believe she needs to come home and get her thoughts, priorities, plan of attack together.

You can never win, you can never lose. Thats the worst part.

I told my friends today that this throws out ALL chances of me ever trusting a man. That's just what it is. I get my heart broken along with every friend/family member who had ever had theirs broken by some asshole. So experiencing that pain directly and being driven crazy by someone who doesn't want me, would prob push me over the edge. I really am shocked that this relationship is over. I just want to scream, cry, and break dishes, all at the same time. I just wish there was something I could do. But once again, I'm powerless and left hopeless; bound and broken on the floor.

And I don't know what I’m supposed to do. So I sit down and I cry too, and don't let her see.