Tonight I learned a lesson that I think I have forget since Mrs. Suicide died, you never know who you are going to touch or what impact you are going to have on them, so keep your rude comments to yourself, and a smile on your face.
Since my fave passed away, another has, and one more is on her way. She is bedridden, exhausted, and refuses to eat. I went into the room to see the family and provide care to her. Ibegan to call her name and explain what we were going to do, when she open her eyes and looked around, taking in her daughters and her grandson. Then closed them. The daughters began to praise and become estatic that she opened her eyes.
"It's your voice. She opened her eyes right up when she heard your voice."
"She hasn't opened her eyes all day."
"If you think that your not appreciated, or what you do doesn't matter, there's proof it does. She knows your voice."
WOW. That was pretty intense. I didn't know she was not responding to her family. Days ago I had her sitting up and she was feeding herself chocolate ice cream. But today, death is creeping down the hall, robbing her of her cognition, and ability to breath. Later, when more family had arrived the family came to get me to open her eyes again, she briefly opened them and rolled them shut, as if to say, "Not this again. This show pony is done."
She could not ask for a better support system; i remember one day she wanted shrimp and wine for dinner. An hour later her daughter arrived with shrimp and a new bottle of wine! her daughters were with her everyday.
With all this I feel bad that she didn't open her eyes for them, but I'm happy she opened them at all, for anyone, even if it's the last time her family will see her eyes open.
So the lesson that I had re-iterated into my heart tonight was, you never how you will effect people or their family, even right down to the last hours of their life. I believe that her family will remember that moment forever. I hope they have another chance to talk with their mother.
Going into long-term health care you hear that you get attached, you begin to care, but you don't realize it till they are gone. And you all know, by then it's too late. So appreciate them for who they are today, even if they are demanding, nagging, and sometimes mean. Think about thier life. They are at the end of the road and they have no family or friends that visit them. You are all they have, for better or worse. So make the most of it and give the best you have, because for some, that's all they have to look forward to.
I am def not a touchy-feely, open hearted individual, but after 10 months with these people, they grow on you. There are some that make your day alot easier and filled with laughter, and there are some that you could swear are out to ruin your day.
So be nice to the crazies, they don't have anyone to take out their frustrations or their humor on.
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