soml

its been awhile....yes it has. So many things/ideas/feelings have changed since my last October. I somehow survived my freshman year as a RN. I have switched jobs, started a new job in October, at the mothership. Today I placed an offer on a house, permanently cementing my life in neo. I think this is my fate. I have tried surviving in VA but I dont have my own life there. here is my life. Esp since Halloween. And all those tears are for another day. But everything is going so far the way its supposed to. so thats the soml so far

Well they say, even the best laid plans go to hell

story of my life. I graduated with my BSN 5 months ago, passed my boards 3 months ago, and still don't have a an official RN job. I am so glad i spent 5 years on this career choice. I hear after my one year experience I can go anywhere and do more, but I really have risk my mental health for a one year experience that just might kill me? or worse, suspend my license? idk kids....
I had big plans was to move away from certain (several actually) situations in downtown oHIo. There are certain people that I rather not ever see or run into here, or around here. I hoped to achieve that by moving 500 miles away but as always, GOD had othere ideas. He's not ready to separate me from this wet, gray, cold place. So I'll keep on truckin' on. Story of my life. And what about this house of interest and in dire need of love and repair? Well, that's not happening right now but i do believe it is time for me to get my own place.... Somewhere in this world.

So, yeah, its been a while...

Its crazy how things can change. hopes, dreams, plans, and careers. I am still seeking employment and it would be super ironic if the only place that would hire me is located an hour north of ground zero... anyone who was on Kingsgrave road July 5th knows what I mean.
I need an escape far enough not to be in the loop or accountable for anything. i found that place but my career is not finding me. So im going after it with vengeance! PA, MD, DC, VA, WV, NC, SC, FL, TX, and cali are all far enough away. now which one will get me? whoever calls first!!!

Im almost out of monet but im having the summer of a lifetime, so if I end up in BFE for a year, at least i enjoyed my unemployment time!!

i still believe, like its a bad thing

So when you get burned, don't say i didn't tell you....
So Graduation is a month plus one day away. do I have a job lined up? no, but im calling. sometime soon after i turn in my 1000 point project. Do I know what type of nurse i want to be? No, but I do enjoy ortho. I rather have respiratory and GI over the brain and heart. does that help?
Its crazy how my hopes and dreams have changed in 8 months. I started with living and working in Ohio. then I went on vaca for my birthday and felt I wanted to move to richmond....then, I wanted to stay here and become caretaker of my broken down childhood home. Now that is on hold and i want to move with richmond. i can't take this weather and living in the snowbelt seems like insanity to me.
To fix this problem, i decided i was going to take my board tests twice, one in ohio, and the other in virginia. if i fail one then thats a sign. I would have two licenses in both states plus all of the compact states that virginia is apart of. but oh

"You pay for one test,ok? and you take only one test, ok? then you send it to only on state board of nursing, ok?"
Well thats for the ohio test, but what about the virginia test?
"You take only one test, ok? then you send it to only one board of nursing,ok?"
Ah, thank you.
"Did I answer your questions?"
yes, thank you
"do you have any questions?"
no, goodbye

So i cant take 2 tests, only one. then I have to pick state they send the results to. wtf. really? so the state i picked was no ohio. and I have my reasons and i have plenty of professional and personal references that would agree, but i digress.
No matter which i would have picked, I would have felt guilty that im betraying my loved ones.
But life is not about guilt, its about happiness. and being in virginia makes me happy. mb i'll hate and want to burn the state down, but I'll never know unless i go. mb I'll fall in love with it and have a great life in my apartment with all my shit surrounding me. Since I've made this decision, I have formulated plans in my head to get my own apartment (no roommates) and budget my bills.
So tomorrow I will steal all the phone numbers from the internet and call the hospitals to see if they are hiring new grads!

In my head

So my aunt is in town for week. That family is so exhausting. From the aunt that lives with my grandparents all I hear is how she wants them others to leave and she is not looking forward tu madre coming into town. I just dont understand.
im just used to different family dynamics, were one tells it like it is and exactly how you should fix it. But all the passive aggressiveness in that house drains me emotionally of all my energy. IDK what they are going to do when tu madre comes home, but i wont care bc thats my graduation weekend and its all about me!!! woot woot! Less than 2 monthes till I fn graduate!

Do this huge favor for me..

Oh man, i took a 6 hours nap today and I am supposed to be working on my casestudy, but I have decided to watch all my tv shows instead...now i have a HA and want to go back to bed. Last week ended spring break. I visited VA and got 60 hours in at school!!! I just need to print all that shit and tie it together. We went downtown to the bars and it was amazing. I could totally see myself living downtown and walking to work at the huge MCU they have there.
I just feel like there is so much out there for me to experience and learn. I want a hospital that is going to teach everything that I can fit into my cranium!! I have the basics, the very basics down, but the insights and leadership I need to increase!
I have contacted the hospital down there and should prob call them tomorrow, if I can fall asleep. For the last week Ive been up at 530a!! gross

Why are you asking me?

Its not my gd history. So yesterday on the unit. *woof* Apparently my verbal assessment of this guys legs were not good enough. So when this Dr. came in, he freaked out!!! The Dr before him wrote they were really bad and didn't give him enough info. wtf. So he's yelling and screaming up and down the hall. And thats when i decided: I moving out of here for a job. i don't think up north is hiring really, so Im going to contact other states. I going to start on a letter to other organizations. Its going to take me a couple of days to perfect, but Im going to get the ball moving!!!