whiskey is for sipping and water is for fighting.

Im currently watching a documentary about the bottled water industry and how companies come and pump water and dont pay taxes, or contribute to the community, basically steal this spring water and leave the community dry. In the last months I have become addicted to these documentaries, which leave with all these great business ideas, but you have to be nice to the locals, or they will get angry and make a documentary about how evil u are. Like building a water company, opening a bank, once im rich with capital, being part of the mob, opening a dunkin donuts with a casino in the basement (run by my mob friends), and opening a medicinal marijuana clinic (run by my professional co workers). It just reminds how I get these ideas in my head and obsess over them, until they are my life, haha soml. I still want my sheets but I do not have room in the budget, so I still do not have red sheets and a new comforter, I somehow resisted the urge yesterday, when it was the lowest price since i had been desiring it, even after the bobo vomited on my sheets at 4am....I still am waiting for my fixed up chairs, which will take my extra money this week. So no new sheets and no business plans, yet, but construction continues.

'cause a bad bitch like me is hard to find

Its true. I did some remodeling of this blog, I think it needed it, with summer here and it being 90 degrees outside. So Murphy Law goes, so goes the story of my life. Waiting for validation on a quote, but we will all know soon enough, ugh. Worst case scenario, but I dont run that show, I have enough in my own life.. I cant figure out people, but they seem to have alternative motives, as usual, Ive learned that I really dont have time for bullshit or for you to push my buttons, i still get caught up sometimes and get so angry my heads going to explode, but to derail that train, I try and be as honest as I can. If I dont want old pictures Ima tell you. I dont want that, please dont ask me a 3rd time, you just make me wanna stay away longer, I shouldnt have to drink to cope with your mania. So in a world of passive-aggressiveness, I try to be as straight forward as I can. Some people prob think im a B, but at least you know what im thinking and what i want, even if im wrong. Still working on this in aspects of my life, but construction continues!!

Why you say no.no. no. When its always yeah, yeah yeah

Finally have a day off, yesterday had half a day off but spent it cleaning, recycling, and errands. Or as i like to say, practicing my housewife skills. Someday they will be perfect!! So what has happened in the last 5 months... Well, what didnt happen was: I havent gotten arrested, been placed on some good psych meds, or gotten admitted to the hospital. I believe those are the only things that havent happens, that list is shorter. Still dont have good coping skills so im quite impressed with myself!! I bought a house! In the armpit of the world, all my dreams moving like a gypsy to the Beach, not so enjoyable in real life. All the hurricanes hit the VA beach onthe way to destroy NYC, so i much safer here, with the occasional earthquake from all the "fracking" hahaha. I love reading those articles. The 21st century has come to my home base in search of their natural gas hoarding and the world finally wants to pay us for something. Those people deserve something for owning 40 acres in the middle of nowhere.. Anyhow, I closed on my house valentines day, after 4 months, 50 houses of searching, I found the one. And tho, I graduated from college and have % intitals behind my name, envisioning my capability and bringing myself back into reality and my poor coping skills is still hard. There are some gorgous house here, I looked at several times, and tho I learn they have been "empty" for 3+ years, My desire to have/do it all surpasses my real expectations of what a house should be. I want to restore and and make everything glam and gorgous and have everyone be enveous of what I have and what I did, but in real life the $$$ time, expertese in housing, and dedications out weights me. In short, I do not own a 1920 fixer-upper needs some love, damp moldy basement, 3 story, maid quarters in the attic, house. Nope. As beautiful as the entry way grand stair case, ballroom sized bedroom, and walk up attics were, I reality, where I live, most of the time, I cant handle overhauling a house. "does it have insulation?" What?? I sure as hell hope so... So I live on a dead end street, brick house- less bugs/termite probs, Water proofed basement, deck, and a yard for the bobo. Painted it all, ceilings and all, pics hung on the wall, I own a firproof box, and new furniture. Acting a grown up. I cant believe it's only been three months here, Today I called to cancel my second trash pick up. It seems the city picks up and ties the charges with my water bill. Still working on updating, but even these projects are enough to keep me and my wallet busy. Working overtime at my job, which love tons over my last one. Tho I still dream of going back to school or the ICU, but even the ICU burns you out with ungrateful pts and crazy family members. So who knows,,, what the future holds, Tho i hear it will interesting this summer, as usual. Anyhow, I think im on way to being satisfied with my life/job, but construction continues

soml

its been awhile....yes it has. So many things/ideas/feelings have changed since my last October. I somehow survived my freshman year as a RN. I have switched jobs, started a new job in October, at the mothership. Today I placed an offer on a house, permanently cementing my life in neo. I think this is my fate. I have tried surviving in VA but I dont have my own life there. here is my life. Esp since Halloween. And all those tears are for another day. But everything is going so far the way its supposed to. so thats the soml so far

Well they say, even the best laid plans go to hell

story of my life. I graduated with my BSN 5 months ago, passed my boards 3 months ago, and still don't have a an official RN job. I am so glad i spent 5 years on this career choice. I hear after my one year experience I can go anywhere and do more, but I really have risk my mental health for a one year experience that just might kill me? or worse, suspend my license? idk kids....
I had big plans was to move away from certain (several actually) situations in downtown oHIo. There are certain people that I rather not ever see or run into here, or around here. I hoped to achieve that by moving 500 miles away but as always, GOD had othere ideas. He's not ready to separate me from this wet, gray, cold place. So I'll keep on truckin' on. Story of my life. And what about this house of interest and in dire need of love and repair? Well, that's not happening right now but i do believe it is time for me to get my own place.... Somewhere in this world.

So, yeah, its been a while...

Its crazy how things can change. hopes, dreams, plans, and careers. I am still seeking employment and it would be super ironic if the only place that would hire me is located an hour north of ground zero... anyone who was on Kingsgrave road July 5th knows what I mean.
I need an escape far enough not to be in the loop or accountable for anything. i found that place but my career is not finding me. So im going after it with vengeance! PA, MD, DC, VA, WV, NC, SC, FL, TX, and cali are all far enough away. now which one will get me? whoever calls first!!!

Im almost out of monet but im having the summer of a lifetime, so if I end up in BFE for a year, at least i enjoyed my unemployment time!!

i still believe, like its a bad thing

So when you get burned, don't say i didn't tell you....
So Graduation is a month plus one day away. do I have a job lined up? no, but im calling. sometime soon after i turn in my 1000 point project. Do I know what type of nurse i want to be? No, but I do enjoy ortho. I rather have respiratory and GI over the brain and heart. does that help?
Its crazy how my hopes and dreams have changed in 8 months. I started with living and working in Ohio. then I went on vaca for my birthday and felt I wanted to move to richmond....then, I wanted to stay here and become caretaker of my broken down childhood home. Now that is on hold and i want to move with richmond. i can't take this weather and living in the snowbelt seems like insanity to me.
To fix this problem, i decided i was going to take my board tests twice, one in ohio, and the other in virginia. if i fail one then thats a sign. I would have two licenses in both states plus all of the compact states that virginia is apart of. but oh

"You pay for one test,ok? and you take only one test, ok? then you send it to only on state board of nursing, ok?"
Well thats for the ohio test, but what about the virginia test?
"You take only one test, ok? then you send it to only one board of nursing,ok?"
Ah, thank you.
"Did I answer your questions?"
yes, thank you
"do you have any questions?"
no, goodbye

So i cant take 2 tests, only one. then I have to pick state they send the results to. wtf. really? so the state i picked was no ohio. and I have my reasons and i have plenty of professional and personal references that would agree, but i digress.
No matter which i would have picked, I would have felt guilty that im betraying my loved ones.
But life is not about guilt, its about happiness. and being in virginia makes me happy. mb i'll hate and want to burn the state down, but I'll never know unless i go. mb I'll fall in love with it and have a great life in my apartment with all my shit surrounding me. Since I've made this decision, I have formulated plans in my head to get my own apartment (no roommates) and budget my bills.
So tomorrow I will steal all the phone numbers from the internet and call the hospitals to see if they are hiring new grads!